The Adders Cobras turned out this week with a line-up that might generously be described as "experimental" — think less tactical genius, more last-minute WhatsApp SOS. With several regulars phoning in sick (nothing ominous we hope — just a dodgy curry or mild plague), Captain Eddie went full recruitment mode, digging deep into the archives and the junior ranks to field a team.

Enter: Riccardo, Joe, and young Ashton — a trio spanning roughly three generations, give or take a few grey hairs and GCSEs.

The game began with the Cobras under pressure, but they soon found their groove, helped in no small part by Vice-Captain Joe's enthusiastic side-line coaching, which could probably be heard in the next postcode. Midway through, Captain Eddie pulled himself out of the game citing illness — a brave move, possibly tactical, possibly gastric.

Despite this, the Cobras went into halftime 2–1 up, goals from Ashton and Ellis providing the spark. Confidence was high, though possibly unjustified.

WAFWOTAM came out swinging in the second half, but goalkeeper “the Cat” Steve was having none of it — leaping, swatting, and occasionally growling his way through a busy shift.

Then came a rite of passage: young Edward K earning his first ever green card, apparently for a stick tackle. How the umpire on the far side of the pitch spotted it remains a mystery, especially since the only evidence seemed to be the opposition player launching Edwards stick in dramatic fashion across the turf. An incident that left many confused, mildly entertained, and Edward momentarily bemused but quietly proud.

Drama continued when Lord Negus, always a sportsman (and possibly angling for a knighthood), confessed to a minor infraction — a toe in the D — gifting the opposition a short corner which they converted. Honourable? Absolutely. Helpful? Less so.

But Adders weren’t done. A cheeky midfield steal turned into a swift break, and Noel coolly slotted the winner to seal a 3–2 victory.

In the end, it was a classic Cobras performance: a little chaotic, a touch theatrical, but undeniably effective. A friendly match played with much spirit and well umpired, enjoyed by the Adders young and old a like.

**Scorers:** Ashton, Ellis, Noel
**Moral Victory of the Week:** Lord Negus, for Sportsmanship
**Player of the Match:** The Cat, for nine lives in goal
**Milestone Moment:** Edward K – first green card (with bonus dramatics)

Same time next week — maybe with fewer coughs and flying sticks.